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[19 Dec 2003|01:24am] |
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bonjour.......wow........my nose is so stuffy........oh Bryan! I wanted to tell you something......i don't talk about Coby all the time in my journal.....a while ago I did but not any more.......(excepting the last one).......the guy I was talking about was someone else.......ok glad I said that.......fuck i haven't gotten any sleep.......I'm trying to contemplate whether or not I want to go to school or just ditch with Charlie, Steve and Claudia.......I really think Claudia and Charlie need to spend more time just the two of them.....they're always with people......oh god I'm tired.....night.......
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[16 Dec 2003|07:20pm] |
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sorry dad....I'm a potty mouth :D love you!!!!!
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[15 Dec 2003|07:01pm] |
I just got off the phone with coby.......god I miss him.......he was fucking hot.....and funny.....and cool to be around.....too bad he was a fucking man whore......he would have been nice to have a s a boyfriend (you know minus the cheating and all).....i have sexy pics from sat.......you've seen some of them on Cheese's ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) hurts2hurt_youlj......i like someone......I'm not saying who......but no one would ever expect this.......not even my schmoopsie.........
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| TUMS AND MY ACID TEARS |
[13 Dec 2003|10:25am] |
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mood |
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 ooo look at the pretty colors |
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music |
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out of my mind back in 5 minutes |
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Well fuck you! and fuck you and you......and FUCK ALL OF YOU!!! FUCK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!! HAVE A NICE DAY!
I couldn't do it. I had the opportunity to make out with this (DECENT LOOKING)guy and all I could fucking think about was "him" whether he likes me or not......I still like him........and I love Mr.Zeal!!!!!!!!!..........and Mrs.Swann!!!!!!!!!!!!.........shiggiti shiggiti shwa!..........and WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
OVER AND OUT
Savannah
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[11 Dec 2003|10:31pm] |
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cramps......ouch.
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| there are lies, damn lies, and statistics |
[11 Dec 2003|04:08pm] |
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mood |
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 HEHEHEHE |
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music |
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NORMA SOTO |
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Oh yes...I'm turning it all around now. I'm going to class and doing my work......I still love the boys as always (I'm no saint!).........Chris and Schmoopsie are sitting right next to me.....we're in Mr.Jay's class....I guess you could say thats not a good start to doing all my work it's just so hard to think with Madisen coaxing Chris into putting his whole name on a letter to his parents in the backround.....oh boy......I talked to charlie yesturday.......yes about "him"....yes I've resorted back to putting "him".........I like "him" still....Charlie said I should talk to him.......everyone seems to think that......I don't think he wants to talk to me......oh well I guess.........blah blah blah..........I don't know what to talk about......sara scalp_pull is sitting next to me........shes on her live journal........god I just realized my life is so lame........Chris just told me what a dick wad was....well what it would technically mean.......lol.......thats great......I think i'll go hack someones dick off and role it up into a ball to create a "dick wad".........The anouncments just cam up......."you have curly hair"......is this flirting or what?!...........these two make me sick....yuck.......oy vey........what a weird couple yet cute in away.......hmmmm......Chris is an idiot........Madisen's the best person in the world and if he can't see that he can go straight to HELL!...........grrrrr......i love my Madi........my Schmoopsie........Chris STOP BEING A DICK!!!!!!!.........You have no taste whats so ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...........I never said liking me would make you have good taste not liking SOME PEOPLE makes you have bad taste!!!!!!!!!!!!.....you're a sick bastard Chris.......you know are so fucking stupid and blind sometimes.......do you even know what I'm talking about!?....oh really? you're not stupid?....i couldn't tell!!!........I think i'm going to start telling people what you put on that thing.........the first name.......Callie foster.........the secong name.......one I can't remember the last but NEVER THE LEAST...........YES CHRIS YOU ARE ONLY MY BITCH.....NO ONE ELSES.......MUAH!......THIS IS AN ODD ENTRY!
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| ...whats with me?... |
[09 Dec 2003|06:20pm] |
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mood |
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 I Wish I Had Food |
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music |
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I think I'm Just Going To Live...If Thats Ok With You |
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I feel like my lungs are about to fucking break down...........yes.....still thinking of you.........you probably don't want to talk to me.....at least it seems that way........sorry if I bother you.......I really need to talk to you......I don't know what I've done to make you not want to talk to me......but I apologize.
cross my heart and hope to die
I'm not strong though I try
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| Is this how the book ends, nothin' but good friends? |
[08 Dec 2003|05:00pm] |
You weren't at school again.....and I made a sad attempt at calling and talking things over with you.....boy do I feel dumb......my head hurts........I was in Mrs.Swann's class all day.......gotta love her......I wish you could read this.....it make life a lot easier........well here are the lyrics to a song I like and feel is somewhat suiting for the situation
This is the place where I sit
This is the part where
I love you too much
Is this as hard as it gets?
'Cause I'm getting tired
Of pretending I'm tough
I'm here if you want me
I'm yours, you can hold me
I'm empty and taken and
Tumbling and breakin'
'Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would
The way I know you could
I dream of worlds
Where you'd understand
And I dream a
Million sleepless nights
I dream of fire when
You're touching my hand
But it twists into smoke
When I turn on the light
I'm speechless and faded
It's too complicated
Is this how the book ends,
Nothing but good friends?
'Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would
This is the place in my heart
This is the place where
I'm falling apart
Isn't this just where we met?
And is this the last chance
That I'll ever get?
I wish I was lonely
Instead of just only
Crystal and see-through
And not enough to you
'Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would
'Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would
The way I know you could
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| help the weak.....be the strong |
[07 Dec 2003|04:43pm] |
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mood |
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 ugh |
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music |
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one rotten day |
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Look Into My Open Soul
dear god.....I'm so fucking sick.....I wish no one was sick then maybe I could be hanging out with someone.....I miss you....yeah I know I saw you just last night but thats not what I mean.....I mean I miss......that guy......the one who seemd to have liked me.......the one who said "I don't want you to go"......did you mean it?......did you mean it when we kissed....or was that an accident?......I can't stop thinking of you......WHY CAN'T I STOP THINKING OF YOU!!!........I'm suppose to be strong now......Charlie was suppose to be the last guy that would ever hurt me......I've changed....I'm no longer that girl thats a pain in the ass.......I'm tougher then this........I am........I won't let you hurt me........................
please don't hurt me
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| Again.........AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
[07 Dec 2003|12:58am] |
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mood |
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 fuck! |
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music |
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I feel sick........my throat is messed up bad |
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Fuck!!!!!! I want to cry!!!!! But it's almost like I can't......I cried earlier with Jonathan......he made me feel a lot better.......I like him!.......no not Jonathan.....you know who.......Damn!!!!!.......he likes her.......that girl......shes cool but shes SO involved with another guy.......we kissed!!!......does that not mean anything to him.....not only that but it happend more then fucking once!!!!!!!!!!!.........I'm lost.....I give up.......he doesn't know whats going on...."things have been weird lately"....as he put it......you know what I'm sick of this....i like you!......A LOT!.........don't fucking be like this.....please don't be like this I just got over the whole Coby thing why the hell are you doing this to me?..........If you like me great.....If you don't let me fucking know.......don't just let me sit here and suffer through this......let me know.....please
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| Boys......gotta love 'em |
[04 Dec 2003|09:06pm] |
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mood |
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 ugh |
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music |
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nobodies - marilyn manson |
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well...I really don't know what to say today....it was opening night of FOOLS and they did great....other then the fact that Jessie was pisiing everyone off by being a major diva. I walked in to tell Jessie something that Mrs.Swann wanted me to say. I didn't notice that someone had been talking and karen snapped at me to leave and started yelling at me. Jessie jumped in and started yelling at her...there they were yelling at each other and I'm sitting here thinking "Oh god please stop I hate yelling"....then I finally finished what I needed to tell Jessie and left....I wanted to cry....I hate being yelled at....and I've always thought that Karen hated me......thanks to Jessie he stood up for me....but then i heard about the things he was doing.....oh Jessie I love ya but come on.........this thing with the guy.....I really like him and I would assume he felt the same but you never know...and I don't want to get hurt.....I like him so much....I've liked him since summer school.....everyone knows.......that I like him that is............few know about much else.........ramsey, katy, madisen, and thats about it........I'm always in need of talking to someone..........oh well... theres a show tomorrow.....yipee.....I can't wait....:D
over and out
Savannah
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| JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE PARANOID DOESN'T MEAN THE'RE NOT AFTER YOU |
[03 Dec 2003|10:54pm] |
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mood |
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 hyper....jumpy....paranoid |
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music |
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tell me again......who are you? |
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shhhhh.....be quiet......I think I hear someone coming.....turn the light off....maybe they'll think we're sleeping......Make sure the door is locked.......wait don't move....the're moving closer.......I feel it......don't touch me......let go.....leave him alone!......leave us alone!!!.....go away......let go of him!......stop! please!......DON'T!!!.............................................
Hello I've had a pretty good day.....(again none of the occurRing events could have happened with out RENE! I love you!!!!)......I told the boy that I liked him......I said "I don't know if you've noticed but...you're the boy I was talking about."....he said "I figured"....(considering the past few days)....."I'm glad i got that off my chest...but now I feel kinda stupid."...."no reason to feel stupid".....:D.....could be good......might be bad......I can't tell.....I think I'm loosing my touch.....He may be thinking best friends with benefits (again I say).......or maybe not....maybe something else.....something more?.......well......those of you who know......I'll keep you posted.... ::big grins:: .....
over and out,
Savannah
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| Kiss and Tell......me?.......NO WAY! |
[02 Dec 2003|10:43pm] |
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mood |
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 this face is fucking someone |
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music |
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::grin:: I know I am ::grin:: |
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Good day.....no.....GREAT DAY......omg.....well You all know I like a boy....most of you know now who it is :D.........Well something happened on monday ( I LOVE YOU RENE!!!).....then something happened today........:D.......But I'm not one to kiss and tell so......nevermind......:D........ok.....tomorrow I must get up really early so I can go to school and paint for Mrs.Swann.....yay!....well actually he'll be there so YAY!......I don't know what to think.......Best friends with benefits comes to mind but.......maybe more........maybe not......most likely not.....but I can dream can't I!?
over and out
spade
p.s.
and I have a new years resolution......stop ditching......Abe and I are going to Ditchers Anonymous......we need help
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| Sunshine in my mouth......... |
[01 Dec 2003|05:17pm] |
So...here I am sitting with Katelyn...she has to leave soon...bummer...can you tell I don't have much to talk about?...Well I have plenty to talk about I just can't say on here because too many people knowing too many things can make too many problems....if you chatch my drift...Boys suck.....I have paint all over my hands...grr...just want to say things to people.......Tiff...I love you babe! You really are great and we need to do something over the christmas break....Selena...(I PEED IN YOUR POOL!!!)...you are great for laughs and I hope to hang out more often!....Leah...You are so beautiful and are so fucking smart and very interesting i hope to learn more about you!....Sara you have grown up sooooo much (little sawa bawa)......Cheese....my cheese....we know so much about each other (hehehe)....hope to learn more.....Alex (i know he can't read this) but i love ya! And care about ya!!! May 9th forever!!!(that was lame[and for tiff cause shes a may 9er too!]).....Schmoopsie aka Madisen...I love you!!!!!!......Jessie...richous!richous!....hehehe....you mean so much to me you don't even know :D.........if I haven't mentiond you it's simplt because there are so many that mean so much I can't even put them all down. :D I love you
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| I like Vouge why say Vogue |
[01 Dec 2003|12:01am] |
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mood |
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 omg my face is gone |
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music |
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you probably won't read thhis whole thing anyway |
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we decided to stay today.....so I wont be going to school tomorrow......which is good and bad....my mom is super pissed off at Mr.Metzger because she left 2 messages and he never called back.....and since he had acted like this whole thing was some huge deal she wanted to talk to him right away......she thought that if it was a big enough of a deal to suspend me it should have been big enough a deal that he called her back.....I think he suspends people for pure joy really....though I know I was doing wrong and should have been in class....It still wasn't enough for him to suspend Christy or John so why us......I guess it's because the assumed we were having sex......well we weren't....and for all the fuss thats been made I kinda wish we had then I would have gotten some sorta of pleasure out of this whole thing....fuck....I hate this....I had another dream about him....It was really weird....it was like a bunch of pictures....I don't know what I'm doing to myself......I'm sick of being used and sick of liking unavailable guys....I wish there was something I could say to make everyone see the real me.....I don't even know who that is.....I know somethings I enjoy and people I enjoy being around....I find myself trying to fix my flaws....all the tings that made Charlie hate me so much.....I'm trying to get rid of those.....not for Charlie just because he made me realize what was wrong with me......both physically and mentaly.....can't do much about the physical......but I can improve my personality.....i can't get rid of the center core of my being but I can make it so I'm a little more fun to be around.....I'll be responsible.....try not to be bossy.....try not to be nosy......Try to admit when I'm wrong(this,ladies and gentlemen, has been a big success).......So......i guess I'm heading for finding the real me......My uncle Chris is a truly great guy.....I love him dearly....he's always making people laugh and making people happy....or just feel comfertable....My aunt Rebecca(sorry if spelt wrong) is great too. We had a long talk in the car the other day....we talked about her mother.....I can't really remember her......just her voice and the little funny voices she'd make.....and a few things she'd say......Rebecca wants me to be the best me I can.....tell me Rebecca who am I?....does anyone look outside of themselves and try to see who they are....or try to see what they're doing?......does anyone care.......I do.......i care that I know what I'm saying....what i'm feeling...and why....is this weird?......I look in the mirror sometimes and don't recognize my reflection......I see a face with a blank expression and eyes that if you look hard enough you can almost see into the soul...almost...I see a body thats has lost respect for itself.....and hands that were inches from touching love before it was so brutally ripped away....and I see this person run her hand through her hair and sigh at me staring at her...she bites her lip and and lays her hands on the counter.....my eyes again meet hers....she looks at me and she softly smiles...I feel a smile on my face as well...I look down at my body and look back up at her....she's still looking at me...she open her mouth as if to speak and shuts it again......then she says....."hello, my name is Savannah"
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| TELL ME, HOW EXACTLLY DOES ONE SUCK A FUCK?! |
[24 Nov 2003|04:05pm] |
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mood |
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huh? |
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music |
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why don't you go suck a fuck!? |
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I got suspended today....yipee....don't ask why....lets just say a few words......Coby....bathroom....ditching....caught....didn't do anything (well not like that).....got suspended.....3 lighters found on Christy......Coby got blamed.....you get the picture....I learned new things about the all lying "boy".....he just recently broke up with his g/f.....and still dragging "her" and i along.......WTF?....I'm loosing all patience.....every last bit of it.....grrrrr.
over and out,
spade
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